Initially, play in a child is a spontaneous activity that he or she carries out without any practical purpose, but as a means of discovering himself or herself and the world around him or her.
Around the age of 3 or so, the socialisation phase begins, and your child will start playing 'together' with other children of his or her age, developing shared play (and not just alongside other children playing). Playing together is a good training ground for your child to:
- learn to respect one's turn in play;
- limit their own egocentrism;
- learn to negotiate and find a common agreement, a compromise;
- experiment with swapping roles (e.g. once as bandit, once as sheriff...).
Around the age of 5-6, play becomes group-based, involving an increasing number of actors in choral activities with shared and pre-established rules. Increasingly, at this age, they express through play their feelings of rivalry and aggression, shape conflicts and experience frustrations, within the magical (almost theatrical) representation of life that is play.
Which toys to propose?
As a first suggestion, dear parents, we advise you to always keep in mind, when choosing a toy for your child, who is actually going to use it (their abilities, their interests): dolls with precious clothes and rich details or sophisticated toy trains might appeal to parents, but would your child be able to play with them freely without having the worry of ruining it?
So, better a simpler, but sturdy and manageable toy, even better if it can be modified by the child himself, allowing him to express curiosity and creativity!
Another consideration we want to make concerns automatic toys, those that you just push a button and 'it does it all'! And where is the child's fun? Where does he express his creativity, where does he experiment? These types of toys are unsuitable, because they force him along an obligatory and predefined path, depriving him of the taste for invention!
Much better, then, are those toys where he can unleash his inventiveness, make and unmake without worrying about breaking it (e.g. constructions made of plastic bricks or wooden blocks...).
Some toys that you can propose to all boys and girls (indiscriminately!) are:
- toy cars (with or without track, of various materials);
- dolls, with their clothes as long as these are easy to put on and take off, so that there is no need for adult intervention;
- pots, saucepans, plates and cutlery... in other words, everything that can be used for cooking (even better if there are also foods that can be used, in cloth, wood, corn dough... or even better real ones, such as raw pasta, cereals...);
- puzzles and interlocking games;
- sheets and colours, of various types: wax crayons, felt-tip pens, chalks, coloured pencils, finger paints, watercolours ...
- plasticine for modelling;
- books, to be read or listened to if provided with sound accompaniment.
Further attention, parents, we invite you to pay attention to the quantity of toys available at the same time. If the quantity is excessive, your child runs the risk of feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to choose (or how to tidy up afterwards), of losing interest in the single object suffocated by the quantity that inhibits imagination.
"But all these toys have been given to us. How do you do it?" you might say... of course, we are not suggesting you get rid of them, but simply offer them to your child by selecting them, in small quantities, varying them often so that their interest remains alive.
What if my child plays with dolls? What if my child plays with toy cars?
Dear parents, we would like to remind you that children like to experiment, not only with materials and activities, but also with all the possible roles they can play in their play activities, so that one time they will be warriors and another explorers, one time they will try out the role of mum and another of teacher, regardless of their gender. And this is healthy and good!
This is the way through which males express their feminine component, and females their masculine ones. Male and female parts that, scientifically speaking, we all have!
So, dear parents, don't be scandalised: if your son plays with dolls, it is his way of expressing tenderness and the pleasure of caring, which will be transformed over time into the ability to take care of his own child; and your daughter is experiencing a role, she is doing a quest of interest that she has the right to play. Let's support them!